My Own Worst Enemy
by multicolouredeyes
Summary: Rabastan Lestrange is in love with Harry and desperately wants to cling onto the love that Harry gives him, to hide away from the darkness that plagues his life but the mistakes he made in his past mean he’s bound to his life as a Death Eater. Song-fic


**Disclaimer: **I don't own Harry Potter, just the plot bunny

**Warning: **SLASH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (Of course lol)

**Summary: **Rabastan Lestrange is in love with Harry and desperately wants to cling onto the love that Harry gives him, to hide away from the darkness that plagues his life but the mistakes he made in his past mean he's bound to his life as a Death Eater. Harry/Rabastan Lestrange

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**My Own Worst Enemy**

_I beat myself to death while she sleeps next to me, _

_I want to free myself of all this misery,_

_I want to taste the love and life she gives to me,_

_But I am my own worst enemy._

***

I ran a hand through his beautiful hair as he slept with a sigh. We'd been doing this for months now, six to be exact. Six beautiful months, more perfect than any other time in my life, ever since that night.

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_I watched as the beautiful man moved to the music. He seemed completely happy to be dancing on his own, ignoring the numerous other gyrating bodies around him and carefully removing himself from the many who tried to pull him against their shirtless forms, but despite this I felt compelled to go to him, to _

"_Hello Rabastan," The beautiful man hissed in my ear as he span around in my arms and any confusion I might have had was wiped away as I caught sight of first those amazing green eyes and then the famous scar of the boy-who-lived as his hair fell away from his face. _

_This beautiful creature was Harry Potter! My supposed enemy and Gryffindor golden boy, everything I was supposed to hate and yet I found I didn't care, couldn't bring myself to separate myself from the teen who was now gyrating against me to the fast tempo of the muggle song. I looked into those green eyes and that was it I was sold, all that I had to give was his, my heart held in his hand as I leant forward and captured his lips with mine._

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I glance back at Harry and realize that he's awake, his beautiful green eyes filled with a sadness and an understanding for what I have to do, the love though that shines there behind the unshed tears would have been enough to change my mind if it had been my choice to make and it breaks my heart to know that this might be the last time I'll ever see him when we're not on opposite sides of the battlefield.

I'd asked myself several times what I would do if I ever faced him out there. Would I be able to duel him, to try and hurt him? And every time the answer was the same, no I couldn't duel him and I would never be able to hurt the one I love any more than I already am. When the time came I would just pretend that I'd never seen him and go after the others.

I smiled at the beautiful boy that I was lucky enough to call mine, despite the mistakes I've made that try to tear us apart and ran my fingers across his cheek. He leant into the touch with a sigh his green eyes still locked with mine as they shone with love, lust and fear, a fear I knew very well, the one that eats me up inside as the final battle draws ever nearer, the fear that something might happen to him, that he might be taken away from me when I'm only now realizing just how much I love him, and I know that if he died in that battle then he would take me with him.

"Make love to me," The statement was simple, there wasn't anything else that needed to be said.

My hand on his face moves down his neck as I map out every inch of his beautiful body with my hands, my eyes burn a path across his skin my mouth trailing kisses along the path my hands make as I try to memorize everything about him, lest this be the last time I get to hold him, to feel him writhing underneath me.

He bucks his hips up into mine as I claim his lips in a searing kiss and in that moment I give up on keeping it slow, giving into the passion that threatens to consume us both.

I whispered a quick lubrication charm and smiled as Harry squirms, despite the numerous times I'd performed the charm. I set about preparing him and savoured the completely wanton look that crossed his face as my fingers brushed his prostate.

When he was sufficiently prepared I performed another lubrication charm, this time on my own throbbing erection, and lined myself up with his entrance. I entered him slowly, moaning as I felt his velvety warmth encasing me I waited a moment once I was completely sheathed, before pulling out and slamming back in, setting a pace that had Harry screaming and hissing in pleasure as I hit that bundle of nerves again and again.

It didn't take long before Harry was tipped over the edge and came screaming my name his walls clamping down on me taking me into oblivion with him.

I pulled out casting a cleaning charm over us both and placing a chaste kiss on Harry's lips as he drifted off to sleep.

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He'd hate me for leaving without waking him but I knew this was the easiest way for both of us; otherwise we might never leave our little haven. I places one last kiss on his forehead and prayed to Merlin that it won't be the last; that we'll both make it through this battle; that we'll be together once it's all over. But I know it's futile, that it's wishful thinking.

After all, I am my own worst enemy.

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So there's my November one-shot!!!!! I might add to it, i'm not really sure if i just want to leave it there or make it a two shot and show what happened after the battle. Comments and constructive criticism would be greatly appreciated.

Multi x


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